Wednesday, December 15, 2010
I've been asking myself this question all week. Lately it just feels like I've added one too many things to my stack, and like an overwhelmed juggler I can't keep everything in the air. So last night I told my kickboxing class I am regrettably going to not be teaching anymore right now. Yep, my career as a kickboxing instructor is over (temporarily at least). I think the canary in the coal mine was when I was teaching last week and I got a call from my daughter. Her Nutcracker dress rehearsal was over, and somehow she had missed getting a ride with the person she was supposed to go with. She was at the Performing Arts Center and they were closing it down for the night. Here I am in the middle of a class, hearing her little voice on the other end of the line. It's usually poor form when you're the teacher to walk out in the middle of class, no? So I felt stuck. Luckily her instructors were still there and she hung out with them until I could get over there, but the situation was far less than ideal, and I had to juggle it with music blaring and people kicking bags in the background.
Meanwhile, three nights a week, my teenage son is either hanging out at the dojo or is home alone. If you know teenagers, you know the absolute worst thing is to leave them alone to get into trouble. Especially at night. Luckily, he's not the trouble type (at least not yet), but it's getting to the point where I don't think that's a good idea any more.
So I looked at the disappointed faces of people in my class, including one gal who just started getting into it and is really having amazing leaps of fitness and I felt SO bad. SO SO BAD. But. But but but but but. At some point, enough is enough and I have to put my family first. Ugh. I'm still coaching swimming, training for my karate black belt, coaching a high school robotics team, homeschooling the kids, writing a screenplay with my son, trying to keep up this blog, and training for some trail runs. It's enough.
How do you know when it's all too much? How do you deal with feeling like you're failing someone by quitting? How do you say No when you want to say Yes to everything and everyone?