Blood Sucking Vampires

Oh, I know vampires are all cool these days with Edward and kin running rampant across t-shirts and movie screens. But the evil blood sucker I had the ill pleasure to encounter this morning wasn't one of those glamorous types. She was disguised as a kindly old health care worker, but beneath that mild visage lurked the heart of a Marquis de Sade.

You have to understand that I don't have good veins, from a phlebotomists' viewpoint. While my blood pressure is great and the vessels obviously sturdy, somewhere in the vicinity of my elbows they head deep underground where the blood-suckers can't find them. So today when we had a mandatory "health screening" for hubby's employer (read: the insurance company would jack up our rate tremendously if we didn't comply), I cringed inwardly, thinking I knew the torture that lay ahead. Every now and then I get a wonderful phlebotomist who can hit my veins like the kiss of a butterfly, but usually it's more like a sledge hammer. This one started out as no exception, missing the vein entirely and then going on a little fishing expedition with the needle.

The problem was, while she was playing "here fishy fishy fishy" she struck a nerve. Well, now I know where that saying comes from, 'cuz let's just say I about came unglued. And if you know my now-legendary pain tolerance you know that most people would've revolved out of their seat screaming foul curses at that point. Me, I groaned and breathed like I was in the last five minutes of labor, a kind of "whoo whoo weeeee" panting thing. But at least I kept all of the blue words locked inside my head.

Four hours later, my arm still feels like she shot it through with a nail gun, pain radiating from my shoulder to my wrist, but it's slowly getting better. Seriously, this hurt way way way more than breaking my other arm. And just think, my swim team mates told me not to hurt myself this week, I didn't think a "health screening" would be my downfall!

Looking on the bright side of things, I can at least report that as of last night I can swim butterfly again. As all of my abilities slowly come back one by one, I get to see them for the blessings that they are. Flying across the water, it's a joy. So as long as my left arm hangs in there, and my right arm recovers from the encounter with the vampire lady, I should be good to go for Friday evening's swim-meet opener, the 1650!