Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Biggest DNF Of All Time - My Marriage

If you read here regularly, you might've guessed by now that something happened. I sort-of fell off of the edge of the blogging earth, and largely off of my other online activities as well. As it turns out, my life has been pretty crazy lately: my husband and I separated two months ago, just six months shy of our 20th Wedding Anniversary. In sports terms, I guess that's a DNF (Did Not Finish). In reality, it's just weird, painful, and awkward, as well as also hopeful, exciting, and freeing. It's a lot of things all rolled into one.

Before anyone offers warm fuzzy feelings, I'm doing fine. I won't go into the reasons here, but suffice it to say that I took my wedding vows seriously, and had very good reasons for leaving. I still care for my separated husband (I guess he's not officially an ex right now), he's a good guy and we have remained on good terms and wish each other well.

Other than a whole lot of anxiety about finding a job, preferably within my skill set (anyone want a software QA person??), this experience is really a net positive. Which is not to say it's not tough. Heck, an Ironman is a net positive and it's tough as hell. So is this. But I know that I will work through it and persevere and come out the other side tougher. If there's one thing I've learned from triathlons it's this: the only way to end the discomfort is just to keep moving through it.

Okay, that's all I have to say. You can give me some hugs now.

11 comments:

Toni said...

HUGS!!!

conflictgirl said...

I sometimes think of doing the same, but worry about what lies on the other side. Sending you lots of hugs, good thoughts and wishes for an easy transition.

Mudmama and Papapan said...

((((HUGS)))) Robin I'm truly sorry. I remember feeling strangely *ashamed* about it - despite having very good reasons for leaving - when my own separation was fresh. If I could tell my newly separated self anything it would be to not feel ashamed, feel everything else but not that. Sending you lots of love. dirt

Amy said...

(((hugs)))

Just keep moving forward.

cherelli said...

Robin, I only know you from what I read in your blog but you have been a cyber role model (if that doesn't sound too freakish); SOOOO many women seem to go through a separation around the 20yr mark - and it almost seems like suddenly the world "becomes their oyster" - almost like back to being in your early 20s pre-kids exploring your options....so embrace it with all you've learned the past 20yrs, kids and husband-friend as support - yep I'm sure it'll be a rollercoaster...another life challenge to tuck away and overcome. You'll rock it. But "HUGS" as you go through the initial downhill transition...

Kiki said...

v. sad under any circumstances. You know how to take care of yourself -- don't neglect letting others care for you . . .

Tina Marie Parker said...

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs.

Marvin Dittfurth said...

Sometime I think that the training we do and the events, the gut-checks we go through, are essentially training for times like this. We train and become overcomers. The course is hilly but you have trained on the hills. God bless you Robin.

Foolio said...

Sorry to hear that. Best to you. You will be fine I'm sure.

Erika said...

I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been through. I hope this helps you to look forward to positive things to come in your life and I wish you the best!

Becky said...

I think you should use your real skill set and be a coach/tri trainer! My friend and I were just thinking the other day how fun it would be to come to your neck of the woods and train with you for a few days!

Good luck on your next adventure and big hugs to your kiddos!